Who's up for an easy £5 million?

[Cobbler]

And it's going white.

Not 50 shades of grey?

 

[Barking Mat]

Edouard Philippe. Spelling? The French prime minister, started this covid fest with a small white spot on his beard, he's gone full on badger in the last three months, I think I'm following his fashion trend....

 

[Parm]

Dare I say it, we also need a H&S manager

cant be me as ill spend all my time boring you all with useless standards and never let anything happen, plus I already have a role

Im the catering manager

Its hard work **Language**ing things up

 

[Parm]

Not 50 shades of grey?

You already planning the celebrations ?

 

[Barking Mat]

@Cobbler , not grey, white.

50 shades of white.... Doesn't work.

Rubbish film, didn't read the book.

 

[Wedg1e]

do you reckon we need a project manager ?

Could be some stiff competition for this role

Most project managers I've ever known have been complete tools.

Now, you were saying...?

 

[Parm]

Most project managers I've ever known have been complete tools.

Now, you were saying...?

Lol, im being inclusive. Theres a job for everyone

 

[Wedg1e]

Sold, your also now the insurance loss adjuster, First one on this project with two official jobs

Hang on, what? Two jobs? In that case can I be furloughed from both with immediate effect?
I'll be in the virtual pub if anyone wants me...

 

[Barking Mat]

If I was cutting up a boat @Parm I'd want you abroad!

No, really I'd do it properly.....

 

[Wedg1e]

If I was cutting up a boat @Parm I'd want you abroad!

No, really I'd do it properly.....

Abroad, or aboard?

 

[Parm]

Hang on, what? Two jobs? In that case can I be furloughed from both with immediate effect?
I'll be in the virtual pub if anyone wants me...

NDT tester and ?

of course I forgot, all this covid malarkey.

But first we need a project manager / CEO to furlough you

 

[Parm]

If I was cutting up a boat @Parm I'd want you abroad!

No, really I'd do it properly.....

Yeah thanks, charming. make sure you have a film crew watching me drown as I cant swim

 

[Barking Mat]

I don't want to be at work anymore.

It's was already complicated.

Now it's really really complicated.

Can I just stay at home please.

And get paid.

It doesn't work like that?

Ah, crap....?

 

[Parm]

Abroad, or aboard?

It don't matter, ill be at the bottom

 

[Wedg1e]

NDT tester and ?

of course I forgot, all this covid malarkey.

But first we need a project manager / CEO to furlough you

NDT tester? Not me mate, I only design/build/install/commission and service the gear used by the guys who do the testing.
Seriously, you wouldn't want me x-raying you

 

[Parm]

I don't want to be at work anymore.

It's was already complicated.

Now it's really really complicated.

Can I just stay at home please.

And get paid.

It doesn't work like that?

Ah, crap....?

Five Million Quid

Just think Five Million Quid

 

[Parm]

NDT tester? Not me mate, I only design/build/install/commission and service the gear used by the guys who do the testing.
Seriously, you wouldn't want me x-raying you

Appologies. You've just got yourself a promotion.

We don't have a designer on board, yet

 

[Barking Mat]

Aboard / abroad it's all relative.

Relative to what, I couldn't tell you.

 

[Barking Mat]

Sounds like we have a demolition team, @Parm put the tender in and we'll see how this pans out.

If we cut them down 6" at a time what could possibly go wrong.

who said atom bomb?

 

[Wedg1e]

Appologies. You've just got yourself a promotion.

We don't have a designer on board, yet

Ar53. Me and my big keyboard.

However, first we'd need to get round the table for interminable meetings about what could, might, should, shouldn't, possibly perhaps maybe done while not actually discussing what needs to be done.
Then I'd have to throw together some concept drawings (full 3D, to scale, in colour of course, as that's the minimum acceptable standard these days).
More meetings... more drawings... frankly, either the ship will have dissolved or I'll be retired (and probably both) and we still won't have a workable plan.