Facebook. Hoarding. Selling and Depression.

[ukracer]

Are these things intertwined or is it just me. I have had sporadic episodes of depression over the last 25 years , most of which stemmed from my wifes condition and her ability to alter her demenour personality hourly. I have managed to surmount the depression through various ways, not least preparing for the inevitable day I lose her. Sadly this has come to be part of the problem. I also collect things I feel will be useful to my grandkids as I never had that sort of stuff when I was a kid.

SO I have too much stuff. I cant get my head round getting rid of stuff I might need in the future or scrapping it etc.

I also cant use much of what I have around me and I cant find the other half of my stuff. Things have been bad over Xmas period although I felt the tidying decluttering was taking shape. I am using the 3D printer to create storage etc but its addictive and I cant design but want to be able to, although I have actually created a couple of very useful things almost on my home or with a little help.
WELL onto this weekend, it went well as there was a lot of football to keep me listening and working on decluttering and lo and behold after about a month of it being listed and about a dozen is it still for sale messages. I finally got a firm yes I will have it if you will take 30 quid for the lot. Knowing its worth more that 30 quid but wanting the space I said fine.

Ian · Childs white wooden cot.​

Ian started this chat. View buyer profile

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Ian​

Hi is this still available please?

You sent​

yes mate it is currently.

Ian​

Would you take 30 for the lot can collect tomorrow if possible?

You sent​

yes mate. that would be fine. Its **address removed**. what sort of time would suit you?

Ian​

Morning would be great if that suits yourself? Does the side remove to turn into a toddler bed or is it just a cot?

You sent​

not sure to be honest. I would say no as it can be set two heights to cater for baby or toddler.




You sent




I will be available after 10.30 as I have to go and sort my Dad out after I drop the Grandkids to school.

Ian​

That sounds great i will give you a message in the morning to check you are still free thanks bud






Ian

Is the cot dismantled for collection as I won't fit it into the car assembled

You sent​

yes its all disassembled and bolts in a bag etc.

You sent​

Ian​

Cheers buddy will give you a message in the morning






SO a fairly upbeat mesage. Not one I would expect the guy to disappear from facebook after he sent it. or am I missing something?



I could not send him a message and just get this...

It appears that selling stuff (unless its DDR5) is almost impossible and this is affecting my resolve to declutter. I really feel down now.

As @doubleboost says you need to get help but its easier said than done when you have a wife who cant talk much, a Dad who needs help daily a father in law you hate (evil £$$%^&) and a house full of SHI$%

Is anyone else finding deliberate targeting of adds on facebook?

 

[addjunkie]

Don't know about the deliberate targeting of face book adds.

But a few things to consider:
It has a value to someone who needs it, you dont need it, gave it to a charity who will get it to someone who needs it. Saved hassle is well worth the 30 quid!

I view these things as bought as I needed it, now I dont, the money was gone long ago and now forgotten about. Simplification is perhaps a way to self help your self, and in helping others though not your own must have a bit of feel good in it somewhere.

 

[reb78]

Don't know about the deliberate targeting of face book adds.

But a few things to consider:
It has a value to someone who needs it, you dont need it, gave it to a charity who will get it to someone who needs it. Saved hassle is well worth the 30 quid!

I view these things as bought as I needed it, now I dont, the money was gone long ago and now forgotten about. Simplification is perhaps a way to self help your self, and in helping others though not your own must have a bit of feel good in it somewhere.

Yes, this is about it really. I have admitted defeat in this way myself. The pile of things I value highly and never use isnt worth what i think it is to others so i have started to get rid, scrap, give away etc. It's quite cathartic once you have let go of things. Declutters not only space but your mind and mindset. Like i have a 3.9 LR V8 in the shed - paid £350 for it, but then started to strip it to find it was really scrap. Its sat there waiting for me to strip parts off of it. Its the next thing I need to write off as a mistake and take to a scrap yard tbh.

 

[Mick Annick]

Don't know about the deliberate targeting of face book adds.

But a few things to consider:
It has a value to someone who needs it, you dont need it, gave it to a charity who will get it to someone who needs it. Saved hassle is well worth the 30 quid!

I view these things as bought as I needed it, now I dont, the money was gone long ago and now forgotten about. Simplification is perhaps a way to self help your self, and in helping others though not your own must have a bit of feel good in it somewhere.

I agree with this, I won’t sell anything online, it’s just too much hassle. Everything surplus gets offered to family and friends first, if no takers it goes to our local Emmaus who seem to take anything bar nuclear waste…

 

[Wozzaaah]

He hasn't disappeared from FB, he's still on there and I am able to send him a message.

 

[wyn]

You might want to delete that post code and house number, if it's your home address.

 

[Nick DV]

You might want to delete that post code and house number, if it's your home address.

Good point, well spotted

 

[MattF]

Knowing its worth more that 30 quid

Only in your mind. To anyone else, it's worth whatever it's worth.

To put it bluntly, you need to stop dicking about & start clearing out. How many things do you buy from the sales section on here, & how much of that do you ever actually use?

A lot of us have been through the 'cleaning house' stage, & keep asking our opinions ain't going to achieve chuff all. Stop trying to sell stuff, & just clear out by whatever means. Remember that what you paid for something is what you paid. That doesn't mean it's worth the same to someone else.

You're the only one who can start making changes in your life.

There's a freebies section on here. Start putting stuff on there. You need to let go of your thoughts on the money aspect, as well as surmounting your accumulating & hoarding tendencies.

 

[MoreWellie]

Seems to be tough love day

The bit we all forget, me included, is that this is a public forum

 

[MattF]

Seems to be tough love day

Not at all. There is simply a cut-off point where dropping subtle hints obviously isn't working, so ones typical 'people skills' take over.

This is not some discussion which hasn't been had before.

This thread would be better placed in the private forum rather than the brew room, IMHO. @Wozzaaah, @Welderpaul, @eSCHEn?

 

[ukracer]

You might want to delete that post code and house number, if it's your home address.

I cant lol could you delete it please @Wozzaaah or @Robotstar5 ?

 

[Robotstar5]

I cant lol could you delete it please @Wozzaaah or @Robotstar5 ?

Done

 

[oldbikedavey]

There's more fire-sales about than anyone wants to admit to....

 

[marlinspike]

That's common on fb marketplace tbh; start a conversation about a purchase then go quiet. Don't get invested in transactions, try to emotionally detach yourself. It's a sad fact that there are a lot of messers out there.

The 3d printing of storage is just an avoidance technique. I think you know that. It's time that could be spent decluttering.

Also, buying/making more storage is also avoidance. You need to reduce what you have, not rearrange it neatly.

I am speaking from experience here. You can't enjoy the stuff you have, the stuff you really love, when you are surrounded by endless unfinished projects, things you kept 'just in case', things that you paid a lot for, things someone gave you and it seems rude to dump, things that are 'too good to bin' ....

....it's all just stuff. Keep what you really, really love, and let the other stuff go. Give it to charity if that makes it easier. Let someone else make use of it.

Yes, hoarding, clutter, inability to make a decision etc are very much linked to mental health and depression. Unfortunately, clutter often makes you depressed, and being depressed makes you buy/hoard stuff and struggle to sort it out.

 

[Screwdriver]

Hoarding or overzealous collecting is something we all do. The older we get, the worse the situation becomes. FaceBook is not a market platform. It's social media with a market tacked onto it. That means it is rife with scammers and chancers because it has not been set up with all of the checks and balances that protect you on eBay/Amazon.

If you need to de clutter, bung it up on eBay for 99p plus sensible postage. You're getting rid of it for free at least and maybe turn a few quid. Main thing is, you're getting rid of it and not simply binning it which would be heartbreaking. Also, it's nice to think someone might really get some good use out of it; that's what I try and tell myself if/when something actually does sell for 99p!

 

[EEEK]

There's not a lot you cant sell on ebay. I don't do auctions just buy it now or make an offer. Can take months but everything sells in the end.

Only thing is you've money sitting there to buy more bargains

Also have stuff on facebook but you actually have to deal with the morons to sell on there.

 

[ukracer]

Only in your mind. To anyone else, it's worth whatever it's worth.

I have seen lots of them go at 40 plus. (Not around xmas though}
I priced it on what I would "need" to pay if I wanted one based on prices advertised locally. I dont usually get the is it still for sale so its surprised me how many have asked. This guy bugged me as he must have blocked me because @Wozzaaah seems to have found him. I would have had money on that he was genuine and a simple reply saying I wont be coming mate but thanks anyway, would have been reasonable as I did not know if the guy was still coming for it.

To put it bluntly, you need to stop dicking about & start clearing out. How many things do you buy from the sales section on here, & how much of that do you ever actually use?

I am clearing out and have made good progress to be fair. I dont buy much lately as I have most things BUT its now a case of needing to sort and catalogue things I have . It is working but I still have my bad days. I use a hell of a lot and would/will use more if anything happens to my wife, I have been waking up daily and wondering if this is the day. Once its happened once ......it sticks in your mind.
The key thing is our finances are based on my money paying bills and outgoings and hers covers food and extras so I need things to either sell or make money . not a fortune, but enough to survive as her Dad is an $%% %%^&& %%^&& and you would not believe what he says and does etc. If I go first her Dad will see her ok and she will have half my full pension. I know many will not understand how things are but thats life sadly.. But this thread was rather more about Facebook.

A lot of us have been through the 'cleaning house' stage, & keep asking our opinions ain't going to achieve chuff all. Stop trying to sell stuff, & just clear out by whatever means. Remember that what you paid for something is what you paid. That doesn't mean it's worth the same to someone else.

I recognise that and was not sure I was asking opinions other than venting. Something I find hard to do locally. Its the clearing out that is the problem not so much the selling. It was more I was surprised and angry he ghosted me instead of just saying I dont want it now. I am very realistic on prices and often take stuff to charity shops rather than trying selling since facebook got really really greedy. Do you honestly think I was overpricing a Cot, Bumper, Mattress and Quilt at 30 quid?

You're the only one who can start making changes in your life.

I have made good progress to be honest but I still have bad days.

There's a freebies section on here. Start putting stuff on there. You need to let go of your thoughts on the money aspect, as well as surmounting your accumulating & hoarding tendencies.

I doubt I would be allowed to claim a Cot is Workshop equipment or can I do that in the Freebies section.

 

[MattF]

Also have stuff on facebook but you actually have to deal with the morons to sell on there.

That's the beauty of listing stuff on here. At least you know the morons you're dealing with.

 

[ukracer]

Hoarding or overzealous collecting is something we all do. The older we get, the worse the situation becomes. FaceBook is not a market platform. It's social media with a market tacked onto it. That means it is rife with scammers and chancers because it has not been set up with all of the checks and balances that protect you on eBay/Amazon.

If you need to de clutter, bung it up on eBay for 99p plus sensible postage. You're getting rid of it for free at least and maybe turn a few quid. Main thing is, you're getting rid of it and not simply binning it which would be heartbreaking. Also, it's nice to think someone might really get some good use out of it; that's what I try and tell myself if/when something actually does sell for 99p!

great idea ..sadly I hate ebay. I will try and re evaluate my views though.

 

[MattF]

or can I do that in the Freebies section.

I don't believe the freebies section is as strict on what goes in there. Check the rules for that forum, or ask a Mod.