Who's up for an easy £5 million?

[northwest]

There are two people I would get to do this job, sadly both are dead. For those of you who are seriously interested in this sort of stuff there are two books, one is Cox's Navy about the effort of removing the German fleet at Scapa, many, many procedures were developed on that job that are still in use today and the other book is "Men under the Sea" by Commander Edward Ellsberg. You will probably need to buy the Kindle version as the hardback, long out of print, is fetching a fair few quid on Amazon.

I understand and respect Parm's position in the HSE but when it is blowing hard, you are freezing cold and you can hardly see, the men around you are the best in the business and you can tell them absolutely nothing about H&S. If they don't know what they are doing you are going to die and everyone else they handle is too so an idiot doesn't last long. He will go, one way or another.

 

[mike os]

I propose we just use explosive cutting charges, removes the masts.. and what could possibly go wrong? If that seems a bit risky we can wire cut the first one then accidentally drop it?

removes the real problem that one day is going to go bang, so we at least get to make a few quid out of it... someone needs to work on the marketing here

We bill london, Kent and Essex councils for billions in civic improvements, and obviously point out that the longer it was left the more damaging it would be because of more property in the area.

Sue the government for not providing sufficient information on the condition and risk.

Of course once we win the tender the price will increase... so I'm saying about 25 to 30 million by the time the crew is ready to start... all tied up in essential equipment and development to do the job of course, not that the suppliers are getting paid though, wink wink, ... ah the pension fund,...

Borrow as much as we can, Empty the bank accounts, leave all suppliers with massive bills, liquidate the company and bugger off somewhere warm with no extradition treaty.

Oops.. that's how its going to be done, not how we would do it

 

[northwest]

I propose we just use explosive cutting charges

Thermite Magnesium Ribbon around the base of the masts would be my first choice, going to need a big crane on a barge though to stop the masts toppling.

Borrow as much as we can, Empty the bank accounts, leave all suppliers with massive bills, liquidate the company and bugger off somewhere warm

Sounds like a 21st Century business plan to me.

 

[mike os]

Thermite Magnesium Ribbon around the base of the masts would be my first choice, going to need a big crane on a barge though to stop the masts toppling.



Sounds like a 21st Century business plan to me.

But the thermite wont generate enough of a shock wave... although we can specify thermite in the tender and switch to cutting charges on a cost basis once we get there.

Crane? I was planning on a couple of inflatable balloons as its risky getting in close with anything big... especially once we detonate the charges....

and what idiot left 150kg of charges and detonators in a n open box right next to the bloody mast? Could cause a nasty accident there

 

[northwest]

switch to cutting charges on a cost basis once we get there.

Deffo a 21st Century business plan!

 

[Robbie260]

We could just ask scotty too beam them up.

Im sure if we all put our heads together we could crack matter transporter technology for 5 million quid, then the skys the limit on how much we would make.

 

[daleyd]

I’ve just caught up with this thread and if my calculations are right, then with the amount of people currently recruited you should all walk away with £45.20 each(before tax)....

 

[mike os]

That's you lot I'm off with ths £500in the bank and the £22million pensions pot

 

[Bullet2012]

@Parm thank you, I believe a fleet of ISUP will be far better given the delicate nature of the opp. Silent in operation, easily stoweable, able to launch from a beach and easier to maintain social distancing.
Also each team member could then purchase their own ISUP from me, prior to the opp starting and increase my pre opp profits.
ISUP = Inflatable Stand Up Paddleboard.
Shop is open.

 

[Keith 66]

You might need some accurate data, heres a link to a recent survey report on the wreck,https://assets.publishing.service.g..._data/file/806176/SSRM_Survey_Report_2017.pdf,
There has always been a huge amount of scaremongering over this wreck. I have sailed past it hundreds of times & it is an eerie place, one of our club members who was in the navy knew one of the divers who take a shufti every year or so. He had said it was the most dangerous wrecks he had ever dived on, she lays across the tide so much turbulence & the visibility is zero.
I can remember her bridge & funnel being visible, the funnel fell in a winter storm in the early 60's & the bridge superstructure collapsed by the 80's.
Though it would make a big bang reports of the possible destruction are always over egged by the press.
Just upriver at yantlet was a Royal engineers demolition range where they would practice blowing stuff up. Some of the explosions were quite large &i remember working on Southend lifeboat house (on the Pier) back in 83, they were having a go at Yantlet range, we could see the flash from the explosions across the river, the shockwave would hit the pier about 5 seconds later & we felt it shudder & bits of scale & rivets heads would drop off into the sea. The sound would arrive another 5 seconds or so later. Distance from the Yantlet range to Southend pier is about the same as to the wreck, so there must have been some risk from the shockwaves.
Ships go past regularly including some quite big ones, largest today are probably the LNG tankers, now that would be a scenario!

 

[The_Yellow_Ardvark]

I have a simpler plan.
We get my Norbert, you lot supply your own Norbert's, we will have a few.

We use my Norbert's and his boat, sail up. Then one Norbert holds one other Norbert by the ankles, with a hack saw and then that Norbert can cut the mast off, just below the water line, about 18".
We repeat until job is complete, or we run out of Norbert's.

 

[slim_boy_fat]

and I’d be slightly ****** off if my new shed gets blown up before I’ve even got it finished!

That's what insurance is for.

probably also a get away driver if it goes wrong, please make your selves known.

I'm pretty handy behind the wheel, but it'd need to be a PSV with all that crew.

 

[Mick Annick]

If it goes tits up, we will need a hide out somewhere, peraphs our French brethren could help out @barking mat et al?

I can lose the lot of you in the forest down here - a bunch of SAS lads spent a whole summer here in 1944 hiding from the Germans and didn’t get found, despite coming equipped with jeeps and lots of explosives!

 

[Parm]

That's what insurance is for.



I'm pretty handy behind the wheel, but it'd need to be a PSV with all that crew.

done, just don't go near any mountain roads with sheer drops and we will be ok

 

[Parm]

Thermite Magnesium Ribbon around the base of the masts would be my first choice, going to need a big crane on a barge though to stop the masts toppling.



Sounds like a 21st Century business plan to me.

I suppose you've got some ?or can get some ?

 

[Tinbasherdan]

telling you, let the pikeys know where it is and therell be a transit with greedy boards floated out on 45 gallon drums before you finish talking

 

[Parm]

I understand and respect Parm's position in the HSE but when it is blowing hard, you are freezing cold and you can hardly see, the men around you are the best in the business and you can tell them absolutely nothing about H&S. If they don't know what they are doing you are going to die and everyone else they handle is too so an idiot doesn't last long. He will go, one way or another.

I totally agree with you. The last firm I worked for had an ordinance recovery and disposal unit. Its not very well publicized but there is info on the web if you know where to look.

I shared a house with some of those guys in the green zone in Iraq when I was doing a job out there.

They are special special people, they do H&S very strictly but not In a conventional way. I never actually saw them doing any work but just listening to their tales told me they wernt to be messed around with or be told what or how to do things

They described H&S like helicopter survival training. Its simply academic because if it goes wrong your gonna die

Maximum respect to them

 

[mike os]

I suppose you've got some ?or can get some ?

not hard to make.... getting the powders in quantity might raise eyebrows these days though

 

[mike os]

I totally agree with you. The last firm I worked for had an ordinance recovery and disposal unit. Its not very well publicized but there is info on the web if you know where to look.

I shared a house with some of those guys in the green zone in Iraq when I was doing a job out there.

They are special special people, they do H&S very strictly but not In a conventional way. I never actually saw them doing any work but just listening to their tales told me they wernt to be messed around with or be told what or how to do things

They described H&S like helicopter survival training. Its simply academic because if it goes wrong your gonna die

Maximum respect to them

thats a job that takes bigg balls

 

[daleyd]

I think I’ve recalled this story before but I was mates with a clearance diver, when I asked him about his (to me) lack of concern about the job he did (RN bomb disposal usually get tasked with a lot of old and unstable ordnance washed up on beaches etc) his reply was something along the lines of “well, if I’m right then all well and good, if I’m not then it’s very suddenly not my problem any more”. A bit of a tongue in cheek answer but it made me laugh