Comical Gumtree experiences

[Tangledfeet]

it must be because I’m from Bedford

but he’s asking to drop a fiver off as he’s too skint to collect it

Yup, that was our conclusion after discussing it for a few minutes at the end of my third year graphic communication class this morning!

Not my problem he lives in Dundee and I'd already been pretty clear!

 

[stuvy]

Yup, that was our conclusion after discussing it for a few minutes at the end of my third year graphic communication class this morning!

Not my problem he lives in Dundee and I'd already been pretty clear!

how far is it from Dundee to yours?

 

[Guest 10992]

There was a quote years ago on The Simpsons that covers this....

 

[Tangledfeet]

how far is it from Dundee to yours?

About half an hour or so, depending on where in Dundee. Have someone coming in 45mins to collect it; an old retired chap that can actually communicate properly! Had about eight 'Still available?' messages.

 

[fizzy]

Normally you don’t get that sort of carry on here.

Bloke messaged me Monday about some wheels wife put of Facebook for me last weekend. They’re £20. For 4. With good tyres. For a Nissan Navara. That is important.

supposed to be here at 11 today. Turns up at 12. Annoying but fairly normal here. He is in a Landcruiser with big ass pimp wheels on it. Measures every damn thing about my wheels, which are the original type Navara ones on steel rims.

Then gets a set of callipers out and measured everything about his spare.

then says he’s going home to think on it. The return journey to his from mine costs me a tenner in my pickup.

I say please yourself and let me know. I’ve stopped work long enough to have cost me more than £20 anyway.

he has just messaged me offering a tenner. I can’t paste my reply here. He has re replied saying my reply was ‘very rude’. Fk wit.

We tend to get lots of customers North of the border like that

 

[James1979]

We tend to get lots of customers North of the border like that

As this is a small place messers and chancers don’t last long in the buying or selling world.

Every now and again one rises to the top though.

even he didn’t beat the guy who offered me a snake for a motorcycle when I lived in Norfolk.

 

[Fraserb]

Wife did a drawing commission for someone a while back, came to payment time and he offered to send her a model tractor instead, she said no it was the £100 not a model, he claimed it was a rare model and would be worth far more than the £100, I suggested if that was the case he should sell it, use the £100 to pay for his drawing and pocket the rest, his reply was he didn't want to deal with awkward people when trying to sell it.

 

[arther dailey]

my Sister who selling a few odds and ends belonging to mother , gum tree d a old (proper old) leather purse/hand bag type thing , got a reply , genuine interest ..as its a tenner how about I cut your hair for you as I am a hair dresser , sis told me she politely replied sorry no , I am selling on behalf of my mother. reply came back, ok I will cut your mums hair then !

 

[fizzy]

As this is a small place messers and chancers don’t last long in the buying or selling world.

Every now and again one rises to the top though.

even he didn’t beat the guy who offered me a snake for a motorcycle when I lived in Norfolk.

A mate was selling his Merc ML - awful car totally unreliable but he spent a fortune fixing it. Stuck it on Gumtree saying sale or px - he used to buy and sell the odd car. Merc was worth about £4000 - someone offered him a dishwasher px

 

[TechnicAl]

Wife did a drawing commission for someone a while back, came to payment time and he offered to send her a model tractor instead, she said no it was the £100 not a model, he claimed it was a rare model and would be worth far more than the £100, I suggested if that was the case he should sell it, use the £100 to pay for his drawing and pocket the rest, his reply was he didn't want to deal with awkward people when trying to sell it.

My mates lad is an Electrician. He supplied and fitted a load of floodlights around this Farmers Yard.......When he finished the Farmers told him he was skint and couldnt pay but he would pay him in Potatoes.........He ended up with a lorry load of Potatoes.......we hawked them round the local chip shops and we got something but no where near what it had cost.....I wanted to go back to the Farm and collect the lights but he wouldnt.

 

[slim_boy_fat]

For those who don't remember Renault's 1980s answer to the Ford Granada (not my car, but same colour):

A decent motor iirc - and very comfortable too.

 

[fizzy]

A decent motor iirc - and very comfortable too.

A mate of mine worked for a recovery company. He was asked to deliver one of these I think it was on a spec lift to another dealer - brand new.
Dealer told him it had to be towed backwards for some strange reason.
Anyway the car had lovely cream leather.
When it got to the dealer the inside was ruined. The speedo drive cable from the gearbox had acted as an Archimedes screw and had sprayed all the oil around the inside of the car

Didn't sound very likely to me but I suppose anything is possible!

 

[Domdom]

A few years ago I took up an old patio to make way for the house extension. 50 odd 2x2 slabs, 2 inches thick. Bunged on Gumtree as free to collect. Bloke turns up in a Saxo wanting them for his allotment. 4 journeys it took, everyone with the car scraping the ground at the slightest bump.

 

[BarrieJ]

Years ago bought a used (1964?) Honda Benly CB92 125cc twin for the wife. Brought it home in the back of a Citroen 2CV, the early version. Took the rear door, roof off and the back seat out. It looked like a nasty accident.
Great bike, would rev like a model aeroplane engine, steered and handled well but terrible chrome. They're worth a lot more now but we're not in Vincent Black Shadow territory,

 

[RichardM]

Years ago bought a used (1964?) Honda Benly CB92 125cc twin for the wife. Brought it home in the back of a Citroen 2CV, the early version. Took the rear door, roof off and the back seat out. It looked like a nasty accident.
Great bike, would rev like a model aeroplane engine, steered and handled well but terrible chrome. They're worth a lot more now but we're not in Vincent Black Shadow territory,

In the back of a Berlingo with the rear seat removed, collected from Norfolk and brought back to Derbyshire!

 

[James1979]

Not a transport story but a few years back a mate sold a bike on gumtree. I was there as you never know what sort of idiots will turn up and he didn’t want to be on his own. He has done the same for me.

well this bike hadn’t moved for ten years that we could work out. Possibly more. So a fiesta load of fat people turn up (7 of them) which was funny in itself, and deal was done after all these “experts” had put in their 2p

Bloke gives my mate an extra tenner for a rough old helmet I wouldn’t even go karting in.

jams the helmet on his head, shouts “Rock and Roll” at the top of his voice, gives it big revs then roars off.

Fiesta with slightly more relaxed suspension departs. Nothing more was ever heard.

 

[Bobupndown]

Have spare floor and wall tiles on gumtree at the minute. One enquiry was would I post them to him. These are 1200 x 600 tiles! Suggested he could perhaps arrange a courier to pick them up on a pallet for him, nothing further heard.

 

[James1979]

It’s nonsense like that which is why I generally give things away to people I know or just scrap them. My ‘tard threshold is low and doesn’t need testing

 

[skotl]

Not a transport story but a few years back a mate sold a bike on gumtree. I was there as you never know what sort of idiots will turn up and he didn’t want to be on his own. He has done the same for me.

well this bike hadn’t moved for ten years that we could work out. Possibly more. So a fiesta load of fat people turn up (7 of them) which was funny in itself, and deal was done after all these “experts” had put in their 2p

Bloke gives my mate an extra tenner for a rough old helmet I wouldn’t even go karting in.

jams the helmet on his head, shouts “Rock and Roll” at the top of his voice, gives it big revs then roars off.

Fiesta with slightly more relaxed suspension departs. Nothing more was ever heard.

Actually - that reminds me of a story from my first job, around 32 years ago.

It was in a college's computer department and we had an old ICL 2900 mainframe which had already been decommissioned. I had to phone up a computer recycling place that would take it, melt the boards down for gold, etc. They paid us £100 (in advance!) for the mainframe.

Couple weeks later some blokes in a 22ton truck arrive with a motorised pallet shifter. They looked at this 25ft five ton orange monstrosity which was resting in its first floor room...

"uhhh.... how did they get this in here?" asked the gaffer?
"I've only been here a few months", I replied, "but the story is that it was craned in through the window 15 years ago".
"ok", says the gaffer, "Johnnie - go get the angle grinders"

So off it went in pieces, took them a couple of hours but they did a decent job and I was happy that the move had gone without a hitch.
That was until a couple of days later when the boss of the computer recycling firm called me to complain that "the computer doesn't work"...

 

[Nomad]

Several over the years. Sold a Citroen BX (the ones where *everything on the car is driven by hydraulics - suspension, steering, brakes), very cheap for scrap as it hadn't moved for years but still had a decent engine and some good parts - also a major fluid leak you could see dripping as soon as you started the engine. Folk with Irish accents turn up - tried (and failed) to haggle on price - paid and drove it away - never heard from again.

Not Gumtree but I sold a set of cane conservatory funiture (2 seater sofa, 2x chairs, large glass topped coffee table) cheap when I was moving house near Blyth-Northumberland (details are important!), chap pays for it online then realises I'm nowhere near his home at Blyth-Nottingham. He then asks me if I can wrap it and arrange a courier. "NO !" A courier would have cost a lot more than the sale price, and how do you wrap a 4 ft glass table for posting ??