When you think you’ve seen everything on facebook

[cheb]

The problem with lung transplants is you spend the first couple of weeks coughing up someone else's phlegm.






Not really, they get washed before reuse

 

[Cato]

I mean we all talk here about how criminal it is when machines are scrapped. Even if you do believe that the consciousness goes off somewhere else, what's left is a bag of parts. Why specify that your machine should be scrapped when it's parts could repair someone else's? If we were talking cast iron and steel evreyone would agree that's crazy talk, but the moment it's kidneys or lungs people get all possessive and would rather they go on the fire.

If there's anything left of me that's usable when I drop off my perch I will have failed to get the most of it and miscalculated. So far I seem to be a little ahead of schedule

 

[addjunkie]

When a gliding club member died and his family wanted nothing to do with the " disposal" we decided to scatter his ashes from the tug plane over the airfield. We didn't recon with the slipstream blowing the ashes back into the plane . The two doing the disposal were chewing bits for days and we never got it all out of the plane.

I was in a jump plane once over Bridlington, for a scattering…..though emotional it wasnt the best idea as you can imagine!

Mum & Dad expressed a wish to be scattered off the boat sailing out into the estuary. In due course we obliged, Nice sunny day boat going to windward like a train, all powered up. Dad loved sailing like this so i got the two bags of ashes out snipped the tops off & shot them over the lowest point into the stern wave.
Bad idea.
As they exited the bag they got caught in the vortex of wind coming between the two sails & shot upwards in a veritable twisting tornado of glittering dust & ashes.
It was everywhere, up my nose & ears, the cockpit was full of it. I swore mightily, Myother half had sense of humour bypass then we both started to laugh.
As the spray came aboard it turned into volcanic mud. Im sure Mum & Dad would have appreciated their final send off.
It took a year to finally wash the last of it away.

My father a keen sailor wanted to be scattered in Coquet Roads the narrow strip of water between Coquet Island and the beach off Northumberland. My brother with his warped sense of humour said but thats fly tipping. The merry widow didnt get it, spat her dummy out wanting him scattered locally. So a trip out was arranged with one of his old cronies at the yacht club, and off we went fly tipping. Think the merry widow was huffed mainly as thats where my mother is scattered too. There was no windy blow back as we sat head to wind for a few minutes.

Non-dog people just don't get it, I feel sorry for them. Teddy just liked the whole concept of being free to make his own choice and would run for miles, but never more than twenty feet from me.

We have a pet cemetery down the side of our small field, but there is only space for one more, before I need a new spot. So the plan is in future to do them down the front field and add a tree each time.

 

[Morrisman]

We have a pet cemetery down the side of our small field, but there is only space for one more, before I need a new spot. So the plan is in future to do them down the front field and add a tree each time.

At my parents place my mum found a small gravestone in the long grass at the top of the garden. It was properly carved out of limestone or something similar. She thought for a minute it may have been for a child, but it had some doggy name carved into it and a date etc. She left it where it was, just gardened around it.

 

[Trevorleach]

The internet is the greatest repository of knowledge and information in history.

So it's quite sad that the most popular things viewed on it are funny cat videos/pictures and pornography, and the most popular things to upload to it are photos and information on the most dull drivel in people's dull lives that no one would want to see in real life, holiday photo's, what people eat/wear etc etc.

To be fair I am finding it harder and harder to find any info that I need, for example what is the temperature at the north pole? many results later all about the south pole and other unrelated carp so gave up, scania fault code 8993 many results on buying a used scania!

 

[Cato]

To be fair I am finding it harder and harder to find any info that I need, for example what is the temperature at the north pole? many results later all about the south pole and other unrelated carp so gave up, scania fault code 8993 many results on buying a used scania!

The internet is great because there's very little oversight and moderation. The internet is useless because there's very little oversight and moderation. As usual the truth is somewhere in the middle.

The internet and its content is accessible to anyone, and given that average human IQ overlaps with a high IQ ape you can see just how much of the internet content is the data equivalent of swinging on a tyre throwing poo at the keeper. I'm not sure if that makes FaceBook the tyre or the poo, but either way it's not a good thing.

 

[Morrisman]

The internet is great because there's very little oversight and moderation. The internet is useless because there's very little oversight and moderation. As usual the truth is somewhere in the middle.

The internet and its content is accessible to anyone, and given that average human IQ overlaps with a high IQ ape you can see just how much of the internet content is the data equivalent of swinging on a tyre throwing poo at the keeper. I'm not sure if that makes FaceBook the tyre or the poo, but either way it's not a good thing.

Facebook: upholding moral standards since forever.

 

[eLuSiVeMiTe]

To be fair I am finding it harder and harder to find any info that I need, for example what is the temperature at the north pole? many results later all about the south pole and other unrelated carp so gave up, scania fault code 8993 many results on buying a used scania!

Try different search engines and try private browsing to change your results

 

[Keith 66]

A friend at the yacht club took his Dads ashes to be scattered from a yacht in the channel. His Dad had been on Air Sea Rescue boats out of Ramsgate during WW2 in Eboat alley & had expressed a desire to be scattered there.
So they were proceeding across the channel & one of the crew went below to make a cuppa. They all had tea except for him. Some minutes later he said, "That coffee must have gone off it tastes awful"......... Then my friend found that he had made "coffee" using a spoonful of his dads ashes from the jar they were in.

 

[Robotstar5]

My two sisters and Mrs Robo all have a pendant with some of my mums ashes in, I think the idea is you can keep a loved one close to your heart.

 

[Cobbler]

My wife’s step sister had some of her stepmothers, my wife’s mother‘s ashes made into tattoo ink & had a huge tattoo of a cat on her leg. Some more was made into glass paperweights, this was done without asking, my wife was mortified, her mother would have been as well if she had known. There was a rather large area to tattoo on though! It took 2 years for my wife to get the rest of her mothers ashes back & they were disposed of quietly on the hillsides. My very irreverent daughter in law said about the paperweight, “ I’d always be looking & wondering what part is that”

 

[addjunkie]

My wife’s step sister had some of her stepmothers, my wife’s mother‘s ashes made into tattoo ink & had a huge tattoo of a cat on her leg. Some more was made into glass paperweights, this was done without asking, my wife was mortified, her mother would have been as well if she had known. There was a rather large area to tattoo on though! It took 2 years for my wife to get the rest of her mothers ashes back & they were disposed of quietly on the hillsides. My very irreverent daughter in law said about the paperweight, “ I’d always be looking & wondering what part is that”

Why tattoo a cat on her leg when there is already one between them. Nowt so strange as folk as they say!

 

[Bobtail4x4]

If a part of me can go towards keeping someone else alive once I've managed to die in some sort of industrial accident, why on earth would I not want that to happen?

The unique arrangement of matter and charge that gives me the illusion of a "soul" will have ceased. Why would I give a stuff beyond that? Better to gain comfort in this life that you may save a child or someone else's loved one on your own demise than accept torching all those useful parts and then what should happen to the ashes.


I mean we all talk here about how criminal it is when machines are scrapped. Even if you do believe that the consciousness goes off somewhere else, what's left is a bag of parts. Why specify that your machine should be scrapped when it's parts could repair someone else's? If we were talking cast iron and steel evreyone would agree that's crazy talk, but the moment it's kidneys or lungs people get all possessive and would rather they go on the fire.

Seems like insanity to me.

I have left instructions, take any usable spare parts and chuck whats left in a skip, I wont care.

 

[roofman]

I personally have no time for all that ashes malarky, when your dead your gone and that's that. When my mother died my family were all stressing about who,s having her ashes as i am the oldest..i made it easier by telling them do what makes them happy and they did, dont know who has the ashes to this day as with most families after a death it all went down hill and we all don't talk now

 

[Turbo]

I was working in an electrical switch room at a well known local football club and noticed lots of urns on the shelves in there, I asked one of the maintenance guys what was going on and he told that they were from people that wanted to be scattered on the pitch. They were left in the switch room because they weren't allowed to scatter them due to possible risk from radiation from cancer treatments!
I didn't think that was a very nice thing to do!

There is a patch of turf on Manu's gound at Old Trafford that is never relaid as that is where they scatter the ashes of the deceased fans.

 

[BarrieJ]

There is a patch of turf on Manu's gound at Old Trafford that is never relaid as that is where they scatter the ashes of the deceased fans.

Very, very few football clubs allow the scattering of ashes, most have a garden or a book of remembrance.
QPR, Celtic and Man Utd still do but the deceased would need to be the equivalent of Matt Busby, Alex Ferguson or Jock Stein to be considered.

Scattering Ashes at Football Grounds

Many people like the idea of scattering the ashes of their loved ones at the stadium of their beloved football team. Unfortunately, it’s rare nowadays for

www.urnsforashes.co.uk

 

[Scalarocco]

There is a patch of turf on Manu's gound at Old Trafford that is never relaid as that is where they scatter the ashes of the deceased fans.

Must look like a spoil tip at a colliery by now?

 

[cheb]

When I went to St Andrews there was a fairly constant stream of people surreptitiously scattering ashes about the place.

 

[eLuSiVeMiTe]

When I went to St Andrews there was a fairly constant stream of people surreptitiously scattering ashes about the place.

My mother used to carry a camera pot of ashes to scatter about.

I suggested she get a salt shaker.

 

[Wedg1e]

I think you’ll find that’s illegal. Not only that, the ovens are only big enough for one adult sized coffin.

Absolutely true.
I used to work for the Co-op funeral service and 'popped in' to the furnace hall on occasion.
Seem to think our local crem oven bank was 3 x 3.
Each oven has an observation window so the operator can check on 'progress'. It's not pleasant to watch, at least in the early stages.

One time we did a guy who was ex-Household Cavalry. Service was in a country church then about a 20 mile drive to the crem, as the closest one couldn't take the solid-oak coffin that he'd been put in. Now oak coffins are heavy, and this guy was 20 stone when he died, so we did a 4-man carry and it was bloody hard work. Folded hanky under your jacket shoulder as a cushion.
When we got to the crem a bunch of his army buddies had turned out with the regimental standards, bugler, the full bit - and they wanted to carry him in. These lads must have had an average age of 80 and they put up a 6-man carry that was flawlessly in step, although we walked along with them just in case anyone couldn't cope. The crem staff were grumbling, because the law requires that the remains must be completely consumed on the day of committal, so someone was on overtime till the job was done.

Once the furnace has cooled the remains are swept out - and no, you don't get someone else's - then sifted for scrap metal before being put through a cremulator which pulverises larger pieces of bone etc. to create the final result. The scrap is usually stainless or titanium from 'in-service repairs' - possibly some gold as well? I never got a definitive answer on that; cremation takes place at 800C so lumps of gold (MP over 1000C) should stand out...

Of course the ashes also contain the coffin (generally chipboard, but see above) and it's surprising how much weight there is left.
Packaging often takes the form of an oversize Pringles tube, so careful if you take a picnic to the scattering (as we did with my dad, currently blowing about a hill somewhere in the south Lakes).