Translator required (must be north of Watford)

[RichardM]

Duck, Luv, Cob, Youth used em all!

Same as the Black country then
View attachment 361924

They are nice looking cobs - just need filling with chips.

 

[zzr1200]

Sod trying to fill one of these with chips

 

[badabec]

A kid behind a stores counter called me “mate”, I replied I am not your mate, never have been and never will. To you I am Mr……… unless I tell you otherwise.

And this is why dealing with customers is such hard work. He was being polite and attempting to be friendly and you shot him down in flames. Why be miserable?
Did he tell you he will see see you next Tuesday?

 

[pedrobedro]

A bread roll is just called a Cob in Ashfield. You never hear the term bread roll here.

Yes it's a cob, stick what you want on it cheese, bacon or whatever. I've been a few places and heard them called barms, stotties, rolls, baps or whatever. It's a cob, end of.

 

[redlig]

We had a customer in last week who called her daughter

A-E


Wait for it ,,, Pronounced Adashee.

The poor child would have been better off with a number ,,, what a stone to hang round the childs neck.

Called my daughter after an enduro bike I fancied . KTM , Actually her name was to be Katherine but I just couldn't resist the second name Emma.

 

[julianf]

I really wanted to call my daughter "danger" but my partner was having none of it. I still regret not pushing harder.

Not her first name, obviously.

 

[redlig]

I really wanted to call my daughter "danger" but my partner was having none of it. I still regret not pushing harder.

Not her first name, obviously.

I love the story of a family who didn't give their son a name but told him he could choose his own name when he was 5 years old . At 5 he was christened Knuckles. I just wish it was true.

 

[Johnnybravo]

Yes it's a cob, stick what you want on it cheese, bacon or whatever. I've been a few places and heard them called barms, stotties, rolls, baps or whatever. It's a cob, end of.

Well dont get the Cob on about not being able to identify a bread roll, Duck. ….

 

[Greeves246]

And this is why dealing with customers is such hard work. He was being polite and attempting to be friendly and you shot him down in flames. Why be miserable?
Did he tell you he will see see you next Tuesday?

Firstly I wasn’t a customer, I was an area sales manager wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase and secondly probably over thirty years older than he was. When I was young we were taught to respect elders and authority, to give up seats on the bus to older people and ladies, stand up when a teacher walked into the room and so on. Nowadays the lack the lack of respect for the police, fire service and the NHS workers is reported regularly with attacks on fireworkers attending a fire or doctors and nurses in A and E departments. The total disregard for local environments with discarded fast food wrappers litter everywhere, bus shelters smashed etc is all too common. I am afraid I am from the wrong generation for today.

 

[northwest]

Pal of mine decided he would call his son Cosmo Ray Gun, the lady at the registrar wouldn't allow the "ray gun" part but he got the Cosmo, everyone calls him Cos, Royal Marine, not to be trifled with.
Went to school with a lad called Alex Nutt, sister was called Hazel, even at 14 years old I did wonder "what were they thinking?"
Everyone around here is called "Chuck" and they are Barm cakes, no I don't know either.

 

[zzr1200]

Well dont get the Cob on about not being able to identify a bread roll, Duck. ….

Agree from an Essex boy...

 

[James1979]

Pal of mine decided he would call his son Cosmo Ray Gun, the lady at the registrar wouldn't allow the "ray gun" part but he got the Cosmo, everyone calls him Cos, Royal Marine, not to be trifled with.
Went to school with a lad called Alex Nutt, sister was called Hazel, even at 14 years old I did wonder "what were they thinking?"
Everyone around here is called "Chuck" and they are Barm cakes, no I don't know either.

Used to know a guy who was a part time registrar. He had load of funny stories.

Once had a mother come to register a birth with two spellings of a name on bits of paper and asked him to say which was spelt correctly

Had a mother and daughter register the daughters child. When asked for fathers details there was a frosty silence. Long story short she had gone back to the barracks of the local regiment. Dai informed them that he’d have to put “Unknown” as “some soldiers “ isn’t legally allowed

 

[tom2207]

I really wanted to call my daughter "danger" but my partner was having none of it. I still regret not pushing harder.

Not her first name, obviously.

yep ,,,,dangers my middle name .

 

[tom2207]

friend of mine had a dog called Asket



as in whats the dogs name



Ask it.
true story.

 

[redlig]

friend of mine had a dog called Asket



as in whats the dogs name



Ask it.
true story.

The farmer next to me called his Springer "Taxi" because he had always wanted to stand in the middle of a field and shout Taxi!!.

 

[Robotstar5]

The farmer next to me called his Springer "Taxi" because he had always wanted to stand in the middle of a field and shout Taxi!!.

Mrs Robo will saddle her horse then say "taxi" and it will walk and stand by the mounting block ready for her to get on.

 

[T5 TDI]

My lovver is fairly common here in Cornwall but it is more like moy luvver. Another common expression is dearerva which means something like bless him/her. Lots of drekkly which means tomorrow or maybe next week! It's the Cornish equivalent of manana. There is also 'ansome (moy luvver).

 

[julianthegypsy]

Reminds me of a character in the Anthony Burgess novel Time for a Tiger. Nabby Adams, an alcoholic colonial police Sargeant. His dog was called Cough, and when someone asked why he said "dunno miss, I 'spect he always got under his last owner's feet"

 

[julianthegypsy]

Buy is common in Devon, as in "Alright Buy? Surprising when you're in your sixties!

 

[Nick67GT]

The farmer next to me called his Springer "Taxi" because he had always wanted to stand in the middle of a field and shout Taxi!!.

Brilliant - love that!!

On the other hand, the bloke stood in our local park the other day shouting ‘K9 come here’ repeatedly must have felt a right prune.