The joys of being an apprentice!

[Ian James]

we regularly have apprentice mechanics come into the factory when they've been sent looking for a bag of sparks for the grinder or a long wait

we're normally their 3rd or 4th stop so we tell them what's going on... also tell them to play along and have a nice walk up the street asking a few more places ;-)

Have they been in looking for sky hooks yet that's quite a good one or a long stand it can keep them occupied for a while especially if they have been sent off site in a works van

 

[Tangledfeet]

This is why we have so many sensitive young people about because they've never learnt to keep their wits about them, they've spent their whole lives being told they are great and that are just as good as everyone else so when they get a job they can't handle it when they find that just isn't true.

I tell my kids I'm conditioning them for when they get a job, they certainly aren't going to get all upset when someone winds them up.

I know that teachers have a probably well-justified reputation for telling people that they're teachers, so I'll start of by stating that I am a teacher...

Indeed, that's one of my biggest frustrations at work; they are so molly-coddled by the system to which I am obliged to adhere yet it fails to prepare them for the real world beyond education. Don't get me started!

 

[maz0]

While labouring for my dad over school holidays building an extension, my big brother said to me 'the woman's asking what sauce you want on your bacon roll' and off I trundle to a bewildered home owner shouting 'i'll have tomato sauce on my my roll thanks'. It was a very awkward exchange, didn't help she was a right snob either!

 

[Gritineye]

1st factory job 15 yr old, Stones where new and I had long hair to match, got nailed through my overalls down to a table and my hair cut with canvas cutting shears. then left there as everyone went for lunch.

Kind lady worker pulled the nails out.

I was shaking with rage and embarrassment, but when they came back I was behind the door with the shears, launched myself at the b*****d that started it shears going for his neck, would have killed him if the others hadn't caught me in mid air and held me down.

Learned a life lesson there, bullies don't like being stood up to and being scared witless, I was left alone after that!

Had to walk through the town to the barbers with hair like a scarecrow, chap did his best but I came out almost bald!

I didn't have another haircut for at least 30 yrs.

 

[eLuSiVeMiTe]

This is why we have so many sensitive young people about because they've never learnt to keep their wits about them, they've spent their whole lives being told they are great and that are just as good as everyone else so when they get a job they can't handle it when they find that just isn't true.

I tell my kids I'm conditioning them for when they get a job, they certainly aren't going to get all upset when someone winds them up.

Yup. My kids are desensitised to **** taking now.
Backfires slightly.
My near 4yo calls me a nobhead when I wind him up.

 

[Dieselman 63]

Funny actually I was doing some voluntary work at a place here, remember this in in my own time on a Saturday morning, lots of old guys who thought it would be funny to ask me to find things, but I know what to do when asked to find a long stand... I just found someone else and got a different job My then-girlfriend was related to one of the people there and said they didn't like me much! Well I didn't like them much to be honest. My best moment was when given a rusted piece of metal to clean, given the fact I spend most of my life restoring tools I had it bright and clean in under twenty minutes. It was supposed to have taken me an hour! Safe to say I volunteer in my own garage these days, too much of my own projects to be getting on with than have my time wasted by others

 

[armalites]

Yup. My kids are desensitised to **** taking now.
Backfires slightly.
My near 4yo calls me a nobhead when I wind him up.

It's a nightmare when they start copying the things their mum's say

 

[Sputter]

I was apprentice at Brook Crompton Parkinson motors. First day on production line someone throws me a present and shouts "Catch", so I did.

It was a capacitor, charged up on insulation flash tester.

 

[Stingray]

Spinning it round about, when I was an apprentice one fitter used to be able to do the crossword every day in the morning break, this said fitter had the thickest glasses I’ve ever seen, they were like the bottom of marmalade jars, I got his paper and filled a few extra squares in with black marker just to make the crossword a little more challenging, morning break finished, no crossword done, lunch break finished no crossword done, He said to the rest of the lads “crosswords a b@$t@rd the day”
turned the page to see about five black squares filled in, He was raging!
I never ever admitted to it though!

 

[Tinbasherdan]

This is why we have so many sensitive young people about because they've never learnt to keep their wits about them, they've spent their whole lives being told they are great and that are just as good as everyone else so when they get a job they can't handle it when they find that just isn't true.

I tell my kids I'm conditioning them for when they get a job, they certainly aren't going to get all upset when someone winds them up.

cant say anything to them nowadays was two tutors at college having a massive row because one had rollocked the others student for talking to him like crap. gist of the argument was that you cant shout at him because he wont come in tomorrow. seems to have missed the point that that probably would be more productive for everyone else. so focused on making sure their attendance numbers are high that they fight to keep the deadwood on the course and wont discipline anyone. does my head in. I told the overall head of engineering that there are people in there that are completely unemployable, he wasnt happy

 

[galooph]

I used to work Saturdays in a TV/Video repair workshop, and we were always up for pranks. The boss had got a friend of his over to tart up the old works Peugeot vans, and he was working away on the car park outside our window. We provided him with an extension lead fed from one of our benches.

When he started using an electric sander, we decided to feed the extension lead from our variac - set at 240V for most of the time, but every now and then we'd wind the voltage all over the place

We were laughing our socks off until he decided to plug in a stick welder, blowing the variac fuse

 

[Stingray]

cant say anything to them nowadays was two tutors at college having a massive row because one had rollocked the others student for talking to him like crap. gist of the argument was that you cant shout at him because he wont come in tomorrow. seems to have missed the point that that probably would be more productive for everyone else. so focused on making sure their attendance numbers are high that they fight to keep the deadwood on the course and wont discipline anyone. does my head in. I told the overall head of engineering that there are people in there that are completely unemployable, he wasnt happy

We are making a rod for our own back in the UK, not saying all kids are bad but they expect to leave school and still get their arses wiped and lifted and laid, I live in a rural area and did when I was younger, I biked to my work rain, hail sleet and snow, had a weekend job as well just to try and save up for your first set of wheels (moped)first wage was £25 a week and £15 went for My keep, I made about another £15 working on Saturdays and Sundays at another firm, nowadays they want picked up at the door or their Mum or Dad runs them to work, My mates lad got a start as apprentice spark, His dad run him to work and collected him, my mates working hours changed and the lad was to lazy to find his way to work and decided he would lay in bed because he couldn’t be arsed, he got sacked and has not worked for two years...

 

[gaz1]

builder and plumbers trade is great fun but not for practical jokes

sky hooks and long wait is are good ones

now toilet flush is a great one @Kayos mind you ive done both but never had it done to me I know better

you have to cut the copper pipe and drain all the water out to solder it. so after cutting and there under it I would disapear and flush that toilet got many a boss on it in revenge

the toilet flush going down the soil pipe is way better yes ive got a few with that one your drenched from head to toe

ive sent someone for a long weight though i do know one does exists old sash windows

i so got in trouble for that one with the builders yard as the person wouldnt take no for an answer he was all day demanding this item and just wouldnt leave

 

[Kayos]

builder and plumbers trade is great fun but not for practical jokes

sky hooks and long wait is are good ones

now toilet flush is a great one @Kayos mind you ive done both but never had it done to me I know better

you have to cut the copper pipe and drain all the water out to solder it. so after cutting and there under it I would disapear and flush that toilet got many a boss on it in revenge

the toilet flush going down the soil pipe is way better yes ive got a few with that one your drenched from head to toe

ive sent someone for a long weight though i do know one does exists old sash windows

i so got in trouble for that one with the builders yard as the person wouldnt take no for an answer he was all day demanding this item and just wouldnt leave

I didn’t have many done to me, I’ve flushed a couple of new unfinished toilets on the lads outside but that’s just site banter

Did once have a gobby, cocky apprentice who fell for every single one I did on him, sent him to merchant for some 26 tee’s (22mm with end branch 15mm) and picked one up, said it’s a right hand and I need left handed. He went back to merchants who I called and told them to play along. He sulked all afternoon when he got back....

 

[brightspark]

skirting board ladder

 

[Dieselman 63]

 

[Ruffian]

Large stand,
Bubble for a spirit level,
Bucket of sparks for testing,

But I like sending the rookies for, (or even better calling various parts suppliers in the motor trade for)
A length of fallopian tube.

 

[brightspark]

they sent me for a bubble for a spirit level . give me the cash then . I got a quid and went to hardware shop and bought a couple of replacement level bubbles took em back in a bag and gave them the change everyone just looked on and didn't want to open the bag it peed them off when they saw the glass bubble replacements

 

[angellonewolf]

worked at a place years ago on a production line 2 guys there said we need sky hook and long waits i said i cant go from here whos going to do my job

thats ok we will fill in while you get the bits we need

so off i went out to have a cig and a coffee come back after 20 mins and they where rolling around pointing and laughing as i walked in and said did you get the bits we needed

i replyed no dont be stupid your the mugs for doing my work while i had a coffee and a cig

 

[wookie]

Sending them to borrow the "cordless air drill" was the favourite at one place I used to work for, needless to say everyone in the factory was in on it so they always answered I've just lent it to Bob or Nick or whoever and sent them off to ask someone else... one poor apprentice went around the factory for over 3 hours before they realised we were taking the P.