Sorting a Will today...

[GRW]

Just got back from a trip with the old man - we've finally got around to actually meeting with a Solicitor to start drawing up a Will each.

Being named Executor for my old Mum's Will, the biggest lesson I learned - was just what a world of bureaucratic pain, procrastination, expense and general mind**** it would have been to sort her estate - had she not had the good sense to leave a Will.

I've waffled about it for ages, thought through pretty well what I wanted to do, try to protect my OH and my old man (in case I got squished by a Tram etc first), and tried to cover the "what if" scenarios I could think of.... but till now not actually started the ball rolling.

I'll feel a lot happier once it's actually signed and in place - I don't want there to be any mess, wrangling, nonsense or ambiguity for my daughter (Executor) & family to contend with once I've popped me clogs.
Send me up a chimney, raise a glass to me (I hope) & crack on.

 

[Shox Dr]

Its also very important to make sure they have Living Power of Attorney, just in case you need care and you dont have the capacity to deal with it.
Let them have ALL you account details. Nightmare talking to suppliers and Banks if not.

 

[500e]

Wise words @Shox Dr
The power of attorney has become another rats nest, medical and financial
Had a friend with 48 bank accounts some off shore

 

[Shox Dr]

Yep. There are 2 Financial and Medical. You need both.

(I respectfully suggest anyone reading this regardless of your age or health to set ALL 3 up. Its not a nice time as it is with out the hassle of paperwork for your chosen rep. I learnt from when my mothers husband dropped dead, out the blue a few yrs ago. Absolute nightmare. My father died last yr and we had all this in place, for when he was admitted into care to after his death. Made it alot easier to deal with.)

 

[marlinspike]

It's useful to have a list of all your bank accounts, insurance policies, shares etc. with the account numbers. Will make it a lot easier for those left to sort out your finances if the info is all in one place rather than collating bank statements. We have a box with all that info in.

 

[GRW]

Had a friend with 48 bank accounts some offshore

only wish I had those kind of "problems" to leave behind

 

[500e]

Beloved and I did ours when 50 and update it to cover changing circumstances and legislation
@GRW some had nothing in them others a few pounds/pfennigs/yen I think he did it to drive people to distraction and it did

 

[addjunkie]

It's useful to have a list of all your bank accounts, insurance policies, shares etc. with the account numbers. Will make it a lot easier for those left to sort out your finances if the info is all in one place rather than collating bank statements. We have a box with all that info in.

Thats what we jokingly call a death book, very useful and save a whole world of pain for those left behind

 

[Blobber]

We did our wills last year, both being in our late 50s and not being married makes it even more important, keep nagging the youngsters but I get the impression they think its just something old people do!

 

[droopsnoot]

(I respectfully suggest anyone reading this regardless of your age or health to set ALL 3 up. Its not a nice time as it is with out the hassle of paperwork for your chosen rep.

But what do I do? I'm single, pretty much everyone I know is older than I am. The will side of it is probably no big deal presuming I haven't managed to align both end dates, but I can't think of anyone I could ask to have POA for me.

I know it's a pain, I've lost both parents and neither had a will, one required decisions to be made on their behalf for a couple of years prior and had no POA, the application for deputy was finally approved two weeks after they died but every step took months.

 

[marlinspike]

I'm trying to work myself up to doing the Swedish death clean thing. We have so much clutter I'd hate to leave the kids to sort it all out, especially having seen how much work it has been for OH doing their parents house.

 

[addjunkie]

I'm trying to work myself up to doing the Swedish death clean thing. We have so much clutter I'd hate to leave the kids to sort it all out, especially having seen how much work it has been for OH doing their parents house.

Its actually not a bad idea. I got shot of a few of my unfinished man treasures as they kept getting in my way, that I wasn't making any progress on. Feel far better about it than I thought I would.

 

[Smallfry]

If you are making a will, I am happy to give you my name and address

Friend of mine died young from Peritonitis. He did have a will but was divorced with a three year old son. Left his ex wife as beneficiary, on the understanding that the son would get half of it. She was on her own at the time. Couple of years later she took up with a guy who after a while, emptied her accounts and disappeared .

 

[500e]

Theirs all sorts of things that can happen with second wife / partner and children, have seen a lot of misery both ways sort it out before it becomes a problem, not quite so much of a problem if married.
Dont know about 2nd 3rd wives partners, 1 is enough for me

 

[m_c]

One thing I'll add, is make sure people know where all the paperwork is.

My mum died unexpectedly at the start of the year, and it took us hours to find the funeral plans.
They had always been kept in the bedside cabinet, but when my dad went to get the reference number, they weren't there.
Turned out she had moved them to a totally separate cabinet in the corridor, no where near any other paperwork.

 

[GRW]

We did our wills last year, both being in our late 50s and not being married makes it even more important, keep nagging the youngsters but I get the impression they think its just something old people do!

I'm trying to get my daughter to make a Will as well.
Yes we know its a bit morbid, but fate is no respector of order by seniority etc. My mother left her a share of the house in her Will, and it's good sense for her to make suitable arrangements just in case.

 

[Keithmac]

We did ours in our late 30's, mainly to decide what would happen to our children if we both died at the same time (hopefully not!).

No ambiguity and all written down just in case.

I'd say if I was single I wouldn't have given a Will a second thought.

 

[GRW]

Theirs all sorts of things that can happen with second wife / partner and children, have seen a lot of misery both ways sort it out before it becomes a problem, not quite so much of a problem if married.
Dont know about 2nd 3rd wives partners, 1 is enough for me

My mother was a widow, and remarried to my stepfather who's outlived her (he has no direct children)
Myself and partner are both divorcees (my OH has no children).
My mum made a condition in her Will safeguarding her husband's right to stay in her home (not that we'd have done any different, but still sensible to formalise)... I've done the same in my Will for my OH & for my Stepfather - just in case etc.
At least then I've done my best not to leave too much mess behind

 

[rtcosic]

Please keep your 'Death Book' up to date. We do almost everything online these days. Our Death Books have to be regularly updated with user names, passwords, security answers etc.

If you are assisting an aged with their will, please discourage them from leaving little bequests of money or keepsakes to friends and neighbours. Dear old Mum had a 'Death Wardrobe' with ALL of her papers - such as bank statements going back years - which whilst tedious to go through did have everything we needed. BUT of the contact details of some of the named beneficiaries of little tokens - zip, nada, nothing. My sister and I had no idea who that 'Ethel' from the WI or whatever of 30 years was. It cost a ludicrous amount of time, effort and money trying to trace them. None of them were really bothered either as by that stage of life it was just more junk for them to tackle in their Death Clean.

ETA: make sure your executors know where the Death Book is and preferably ensure each has an up-to-date copy of it along with the will and LPAs.

 

[Robotstar5]

If you leave money to a charity, find the registered charity number and include it in the will as there are folks out there that will contest the will for charities with similar sounding names.