Present for the Wife

[tom2207]

I got the whole

When I was little we used to get an Apple and an Orange lecture


I said you were lucky ,
A computer and a phone

 

[truckdoctor]

The wife's steam iron present didn't go down to well, must have been the wrong colour or something!

going to try this for next year

 

[badabec]

Then you can treat her to a new belt and bag

 

[reb78]

Mine needs hoovering lessons I think. She doesnt seem able to find the on off switch to start with.

 

[addjunkie]

Mine needs hoovering lessons I think. She doesnt seem able to find the on off switch to start with.

Many ways to fix this……

Mention it, the. Then you wont see the issue with two black eyes.
Switch hoover on yourself, and demonstrate, just how easy it is, while mansplaining the benefit, then you wont see the issue when she gives you two black eyes.
Buy her a maids uniform and tell her what fun it will be…..
Pay for cleaner.

 

[reb78]

Well. I half take it back. I can hear the hoover... she must have dropped aomething and made a mess as it wont be general cleaning!!

 

[reb78]

It sounds blocked. I wager it will get moved around the room and not suck up a thing.

 

[reb78]

I think the two year old must have eventually pointed out the bag was full. I just got asked where replacement bags live...

 

[Morrisman]

It sounds blocked. I wager it will get moved around the room and not suck up a thing.

My daughters 10 flat student accommodation in Notts had a cleaner come in every day, to tidy up the unbelievable mess students make....

When my daughter moved out I grabbed the cleaners Henry to give her room a quick once over. It sounded wierd, smelt awful and sucked nothing. I whipped the top off to find the bag absolutely chocka block solid, totally filled and rock hard. God only knows how long it has been like that. No wonder the carpets still looked filthy after the cleaner had left.

 

[reb78]

Yep. Totally blocked and suction turned right down. At least she got it out!

 

[500e]

Many ways to fix this……

Mention it, the. Then you wont see the issue with two black eyes.
Switch hoover on yourself, and demonstrate, just how easy it is, while mansplaining the benefit, then you wont see the issue when she gives you two black eyes.
Buy her a maids uniform and tell her what fun it will be…..
Pay for cleaner.

We have one of those! I now have 2 black eyes, am I doing something wrong

 

[addjunkie]

We have one of those! I now have 2 black eyes, am I doing something wrong

One of what?

Cleaner or Maids uniform

 

[500e]

Both, thought they came together.

 

[ukracer]

Well. I half take it back. I can hear the hoover... she must have dropped aomething and made a mess as it wont be general cleaning!!

I thought you said she does not know how to turn it off?

 

[reb78]

I thought you said she does not know how to turn it off?

I think I said on. I wish she didn't know how to turn it off.

Anyhow... she must have fallen upon the on switch this morning but then promptly decided to hoover the fireplace (as one does) and blocked it with coal.

 

[ukracer]

I think I said on. I wish she didn't know how to turn it off.

Anyhow... she must have fallen upon the on switch this morning but then promptly decided to hoover the fireplace (as one does) and blocked it with coal.

So you did. Lol I missed the on bit. It intrigued me as my wife can't turn it it off. She uses the damn thing as a hobbling stick....

 

[Onoff]

I think I said on. I wish she didn't know how to turn it off.

Anyhow... she must have fallen upon the on switch this morning but then promptly decided to hoover the fireplace (as one does) and blocked it with coal.

A mate's missus had serious OCD. Would Hoover up the coals...whilst still hot. Put the Hoover back under the stairs where it went up in flames.

Did it three times from memory!

 

[reb78]

So you did. Lol I missed the on bit. It intrigued me as my wife can't turn it it off. She uses the damn thing as a hobbling stick....

Hahaha. I so wish mine was like that. Its probably some kind of ploy on her part. I was so fed up with the pigsty we live in that I spent the day cleaning it. I wouldnt mind so much but she hasnt worked since last June!

 

[reb78]

A mate's missus had serious OCD. Would Hoover up the coals...whilst still hot. Put the Hoover back under the stairs where it went up in flames.

Did it three times from memory!

She is scared of the fires. No risk of her touching them if they are on. Logs get thrown at the Rayburn. No wonder it goes out when I am not here!

 

[500e]

God I am lucky