Nightmare Customers

[bricol]

I think our depts worst customer is internal - our own sales department.

Never give a full spec, expect it yesterday, keep changing their mind, give stuff away, or agree at no extra charge to massive changes to spec, usually un-designed, certainly un-tested.

 

[northwest]

I've always given advice and help for free to my clients, at the end of the day it's easier to do things right than correct them later, but some people will ignore it.

It is much better to charge for the advice, that way they might actually take it. In my experience free advice is rarely taken seriously. Tell them you have set an hour aside next Monday for a "development consultation" tell them it will be £120 +VAT sit them down and tell them the advice then. You stand at least half a chance of them taking notice.

I had worked for her for years prior too,intill one day she turned on me.

One of the wisest bits of advice I was ever given - A customer will turn on you like turning on a sixpence and this has indeed proved to be the case over many years.

Best comeuppance for a debt:

I was in court one morning fighting the council, like you do. The judge was a friend of ours so I asked my old dad if he wanted to come along which he did. The council wanted money from me which I thought was excessive so I contested it. The witness for the council still owed my dad (I had no idea about this until we entered the courtroom - My father never forgot a debt and he recognised the woman) something like £17.10p after doing a flit from her house. My dad, not one to keep silent about things let the court know in no uncertain terms that this woman had some brass neck coming into court as the witness. Needless to say, it didn't go well for them. I was right anyway as I wouldn't have gone into court otherwise.

 

[ajlelectronics]

I had two memorable ones; Sky TV and the local housing association. From the first I learned never to allow the tail to wag the dog and from the latter I learned that no matter how big the customer, they still fall heavily just the same when in court.

 

[Hood]

I avoid the majority of WAFI's, want everything pretty but don't want to pay what it costs to make let alone to make it and make it pretty.

 

[Pigeon_Droppings2]

Not a nightmare but the oddest one I've had was a customer calling me to explain that they couldn't pay me until I had signed their contract...which for good reason I could not do, so we were at an impass!

I didn't say much on the call and the call eventually went quiet. The reason I didn't say much..their accounts dept had already paid me the day before. I guess I could have pointed that out right at the start but I just wanted to see where it would go .

 

[Blobber]

Now you've got space in your customer base Rachel said can you help with her accounts please, she said she wont be any trouble and give you all the "correct" facts and figures oh and can you find a credit card or loan for 62billion

 

[chunkytfg]

I think our depts worst customer is internal - our own sales department.

Never give a full spec, expect it yesterday, keep changing their mind, give stuff away, or agree at no extra charge to massive changes to spec, usually un-designed, certainly un-tested.

My Employer is similar in the regard that its one of the other internal departments thats the biggest pain.

We have an internal department who tends to cover the smaller scale project work that doesnt go out to outside contractors. When they dont have enough work do do they get called in to help with our general day to day maintenance and fault rectification work.

Trouble is we would give them a simple nights work requiring ~4 people but they would not have much work on so would send sometimes up to around 10. We'd then get billed for all 10 people!

 

[Kram]

The tree I should have been doing yesterday cancelled, I suggested to leave the gate open, better for me to be working alone. No, she wants to be there. Then she messages "good you didnt come, its wet", yet the ground is only slight damp and would have been a perfect day for it Today cancelled, she wants it done next week instead and I can see she has no respect for my time, particually after haggling down my quote to roughly half. As she is a friend of a friend, I felt obliged to accept. While I'd enjoy doing the tree, motivation is gone, except I have some new kit I need to try out. I'd normally leave a job clean and tidier than before I started - thats the hard bit, cleaning up well but it seems she doesnt realise that, and is not going to get it at the price.

Atleast I can drop big peices as she doesnt care about the other trees or if it makes holes in the grass. That will save some time.

 

[GRW]

I'm glad to hear the OP is a tidy accountant.
In work we've been going through a 'mare because of the opposite.
When I started there last Nov I quite quickly noticed that several things to do with the Accounts were "not right" (as in not being done), while queries emailed to the Accountant were ignored, while any correspondence was clearly written in haughty & arrogant tones, with zero explanations.
Big red flag.
(The previous incumbent doing my job was I think a bit less switched on, & just assumed that the Accountant was sorting things behind the scenes).
Lots of issues with HMRC, & strong evidence to suggest he was just "cut n paste & alter a few numbers" rather than actually do the figures properly.

Last month we canned him in favour of a younger, more personable & professional chap..... old one refused any handover, so I've been wading through Govt treacke trying to get access to stuff like NEST & the Directors Govt Gateway / Tax stuff.

I found out more about the guy - to find he'd not lasted at at least 2 bigger organisations in their Finance Depts (leading me to think he set up as an independent handling small businesses as he could get away with bull****, bluster & inept / lazy practices without getting exposed).
I strongly suspect he's not a chartered accountant at all (been unable to find his membership with any of the Accountancy Prof bodies) and he's just a chancer.

Thing is..... who actually asks "Professionals" to produce evidence of their credentials? This allows the odd bad apple to prey off the unwary.

 

[MattF]

Atleast I can drop big peices as she doesnt care about the other trees or if it makes holes in the grass.

That's usually the type of thing they say until afterwards.

You have no need to "feel obliged", btw. I'd be cancelling that job if it was I. They start off haggling, & you know they'll be a pain in the jacksy every step of the way. You're making a rod for your own back with that job.

 

[GRW]

That's usually the type of thing they say until afterwards.

You have no need to "feel obliged", btw. I'd be cancelling that job if it was I. They start off haggling, & you know they'll be a pain in the jacksy every step of the way. You're making a rod for your own back with that job.

I concur. Types like that are often those who will use anything and everything after the fact- to not pay or only pay a far lower amount (& they'll often skagen you off afterwards to boot).
Maybe ask for payment up front, or just politely decline?

 

[badabec]

As she is a friend of a friend, I felt obliged to accept.

She has 'messer' and pain in the ar5e written on her forehead.
Cancel. Too busy, already missed two days.

 

[indy4x]

I avoid the majority of WAFI's, want everything pretty but don't want to pay what it costs to make let alone to make it and make it pretty.

WAFIWallis And Futuna Islands
WAFIWax Anti-Settling Flow Improver
WAFIWomen and a Fair Income (Calgary, Alberta, Canada)
WAFIWind Assisted Freaking Idiot (nautical humor)

 

[Hood]

WAFIWallis And Futuna Islands
WAFIWax Anti-Settling Flow Improver
WAFIWomen and a Fair Income (Calgary, Alberta, Canada)
WAFIWind Assisted Freaking Idiot (nautical humor)

You got their in the end Well almost but I suppose it is a family friendly forum so...

 

[bricol]

The tree I should have been doing yesterday cancelled, I suggested to leave the gate open, better for me to be working alone. No, she wants to be there. Then she messages "good you didnt come, its wet", yet the ground is only slight damp and would have been a perfect day for it Today cancelled, she wants it done next week instead and I can see she has no respect for my time, particually after haggling down my quote to roughly half. As she is a friend of a friend, I felt obliged to accept. While I'd enjoy doing the tree, motivation is gone, except I have some new kit I need to try out. I'd normally leave a job clean and tidier than before I started - thats the hard bit, cleaning up well but it seems she doesnt realise that, and is not going to get it at the price.

Atleast I can drop big peices as she doesnt care about the other trees or if it makes holes in the grass. That will save some time.

I think, unfortunately, already agreed work for other clients would be taking place next week . . and the week after . . . and . . . so, so sorry, I'll have to see when there's a gap in the schedule . . . and scamper off into the distance.

I can see topsoil, turf and replacement saplings in your, poorer, future otherwise.

 

[Dapph2]

I used to be a plasterer and often worked alongside a sparky & plumber (they did their thing and I helped, then I did my thing and they helped me).

Sparky got the job to rewire an Edwardian terrace (high ceilings, lath & plaster walls) - had to be done while the family were still living there which makes everything a lot harder.
Sparky found empty boxes from spotlights under the floorboards, neighbours told us the houses used to be a cannabis farm greenhouse (hot & humid)
Every time the sparky put a hole in the wall, chunks of plaster further along the wall dropped off. My to-do list just kept growing.
Lady (!) of the house told us it was ok to make a mess as the carpets were 'orrible and getting replaced as soon as we finished our work. Near the end of the job she told us we'd wrecked the carpets doing the rewire / plastering and we needed to pay to recarpet the whole house ...
That job destroyed the sparky and he had a nervous breakdown shortly after..

Agreed written terms for work and conditions can save you a whole truck load of hassle from chancers .
Getting paid once the job was finished /commissioned was my big problem some times with me resorting to removing external unpaid for things whilst the inhabitants were out .( which could have been nasty for me legally with out a court order.)

I won’t work for accountants or lawyer's. Full stop…
Once bitten !!!!!!

Nor I.
I'd be accused of racism if I described some types of the people who tried to chisel / rip me off .

 

[Dapph2]

Carrier bags seem to be quite common round here. Our guy showed me one of our local self employed accounting system….3 different coloured carrier bags, money in, money out, and bits hes not sure about.

Blows my mind how much some folk must rack up bills for simple data entry!

When we ran the mammal farm we use a triple column entry book to tally things and gave every receipt , order or bill a red serial number each day . These were spiked on three long knitting needles set in block of different ( painted ) at the end of each month Alison spent an hour or so reconciling things then heat sealing each spikes paperwork in big vac packed poly bags along with the date from & to written on a post card that was put in the bag before sealing them up . Each car had a simple note book mileage log and also contained a triple receipt book

 

[Craig-SM]

I'm glad to hear the OP is a tidy accountant.
In work we've been going through a 'mare because of the opposite.
When I started there last Nov I quite quickly noticed that several things to do with the Accounts were "not right" (as in not being done), while queries emailed to the Accountant were ignored, while any correspondence was clearly written in haughty & arrogant tones, with zero explanations.
Big red flag.
(The previous incumbent doing my job was I think a bit less switched on, & just assumed that the Accountant was sorting things behind the scenes).
Lots of issues with HMRC, & strong evidence to suggest he was just "cut n paste & alter a few numbers" rather than actually do the figures properly.

Last month we canned him in favour of a younger, more personable & professional chap..... old one refused any handover, so I've been wading through Govt treacke trying to get access to stuff like NEST & the Directors Govt Gateway / Tax stuff.

I found out more about the guy - to find he'd not lasted at at least 2 bigger organisations in their Finance Depts (leading me to think he set up as an independent handling small businesses as he could get away with bull****, bluster & inept / lazy practices without getting exposed).
I strongly suspect he's not a chartered accountant at all (been unable to find his membership with any of the Accountancy Prof bodies) and he's just a chancer.

Thing is..... who actually asks "Professionals" to produce evidence of their credentials? This allows the odd bad apple to prey off the unwary.

There are some really inept accountants about. I’ve come across plenty from working with them in practices or from taking over their clients.

One chartered accountant that I worked with imported a clients sales invoices twice into their accounts software. The first invoices were matched off to the bank payments as that is how they paid. At the year end she assumed they were all paid as the client said he only had a couple of unpaid invoices. Instead of reviewing the sales to find out why so many invoices were showing as unpaid she treated them as cash paid and the director had kept the cash as it wasn’t banked.
This created a cascade of issues including huge overpayments of VAT, Corporation Tax and Dividends to cover the directors overdrawn loan account because of the cash that also meant huge income tax bill.
The client couldn’t understand how he’d had such a massive increase in turnover when purchases hadn’t increased inline with the sales. The practice director and the accountant insisted it was all correct and he signed off the accounts for submitting to Companies House and HMRC.
I did his accounts previously and he asked me to look at them again as he was sure they weren’t correct. The director and accountant kicked off so I said I would do it in my own time. It took me about 20 mins to find out what had happened and another 3 days to correct it all with amended accounts, corp tax and self assessment returns and VAT. The practice director wanted to keep it all quiet and not tell the client but I already had. I got a written warning and decided to leave. A lot of the practice clients contacted me afterwards and I found various errors in all their accounts with work from various accountants within the practice. It all came down to the director and certain female accountant (who I’m sure were knocking boots despite him being married), she was dictating who was doing what jobs and how they were done. It all came down to turning jobs over as quickly as possible. I was taken to court by them for breach of contract in that I had taken clients away from the business. Each client I had taken on gave evidence of the errors I had found and what it cost them until it had been corrected. You can guess the outcome. This was a chartered practice.

Carnegie Knox behind the disguised remuneration scandal that HMRC as chasing. They didn’t put any expenses through the accounts of the clients, only the sales invoices and the management fees that were filtered back to the client as tax free earnings. I have a client who participated in this through them, he had no actual clue to the legality of it all. He along with many others were given presentations, branded with HMRC as a legit scheme. Had the clients done their accounts normally, claiming for expenses, paying themselves dividends they would have come out about the same as the management fees were so high.
HMRC are a nightmare to deal with on this, dragging it on for years without responding, and they should be chasing those that ran the scheme as the clients weren’t actually any better off and they’re under so much stress with it, many suicides and makes the Horizon scandal seem small in comparison

 

[Dapph2]

I was under the impression that the buck stopped with the individual/company director regardless of what the accountant did?
i.e. they may engage an accountant on their behalf, but ultimately if it goes pete tong they are still the one responsible in the eyes of HMRC.

In which case I would have politely told them to go forth and multiply...

Usually the accountant has a typed in rider or indelible stamp to the paperwork that says , " These submitted accounts have been made in good faith from all details supplied by the client " or similar words .