Keihin carburettor ...

[Cato]

... as fitted to a bazillion small petrol engines, Honda, Briggs etc. A minor but useful discovery today when I had a particularly manky emulsion tube to clean. The sleeve/bore that the tube goes down into which can fur up with water and dirty fuel is the perfect size for using the brass and nylon brushes for cleaning .22 rifle/pistol barrels. A little tickle of the brass brush, a quirt of penetrating oil, a little tickle of the nylon and off to the ultrasonic tank.

 

[OJCar]

Sounds like something for the Viz Handy Hints page

"Small engine running badly ?
Shoot the carburettor with your pistol for cleaner holes."

 

[OJCar]

MOTORISTS: When going through a speed camera, flash your lights twice quickly and watch the driver in front hit his brakes when he thinks he's been caught.

GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.

EMPLOYERS: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.

MEN: When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire - then turn it down three notches. This saves your wife having to do it.

DRIVERS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone while driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

BANGING two pistachio nut shells together gives the' impression a very small horse' is approaching.

DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and I hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

CINEMAGOERS: Have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by using the toilet before the film starts.

DRIVERS: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.

PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by moving everything into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, move it all back again.

CAR THIEVES: Don't be discouraged if nothing is on view. The valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.

RAPPERS: Avoid having to say: "Know what I'm sayin'" all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.

SINGLE MEN: Convince people you have a girlfriend by standing outside Topshop with bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.

EMPLOYEES: Only use the loo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid.

SCROOGES: Save money at Christmas by returning last year's cards to the sender with the simple inscription "Same to you".

MICRA DRIVERS: Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the thing like a sodding dodgem car anyway.

ANGLERS: Attach a helium balloon to your line and bait the hook with an acorn. Then sit under a tree and "fish" for squirrels. An upturned laundry basket would make an ideal keep-net, but don't forget to throw the squirrels back into the tree at the end of the day.

SINGLE MEN: Get a glimpse of married life by taping Woman's Hour on Radio 4, then playing it back at a higher volume than the TV while trying to watch something on Discovery Wings.

TIGHT-ARSED blokes: Only date girls called Natalie, Carol, Holly or Eve. Chances are their birthday is around Christmas and you won't have to shell out for a present until then, by which time they will have chucked you.

BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping it into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60mph. After three miles, phone your wife to take the egg out the pan.

SHOPPERS: Take one grape to the till. It won't register on the low-tech, insensitive scales so you will get it for free. Repeat this procedure 100 times or so and you have yourself a free bunch of grapes.

 

[500e]

Is this a record

 

[OJCar]

Is this a record

A round flat thing with a hole in the middle and a long groove ?

 

[500e]

Change of topic #3

 

[Cato]

Change of topic #3

Welding forum SOP.

 

[Guineafowl]

SINGLE MEN: Convince people you have a girlfriend by standing outside Topshop with bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.

Reminds me of:

MEN: When minding your wife’s handbag while she visits the toilets, you are STRICTLY FORBIDDEN from holding it as intended. You must bunch it in your fist, or jam it under your arm or between your legs.

This is to ensure no-one thinks it’s yours. Frequent, obvious glances towards the ladies’ toilet door will confirm this.

 

[pedrobedro]

Reminds me of:

MEN: When minding your wife’s handbag while she visits the toilets, you are STRICTLY FORBIDDEN from holding it as intended. You must bunch it in your fist, or jam it under your arm or between your legs.

This is to ensure no-one thinks it’s yours. Frequent, obvious glances towards the ladies’ toilet door will confirm this.

Also if you are getting married do it on a garage forecourt and ask for a recording of the security tape to save the cost of hiring a camera man.

You can take your clothes to Oxfam and buy them back washed rather than pay for an expensive machine to do it.

 

[Robotstar5]

... as fitted to a bazillion small petrol engines, Honda, Briggs etc. A minor but useful discovery today when I had a particularly manky emulsion tube to clean. The sleeve/bore that the tube goes down into which can fur up with water and dirty fuel is the perfect size for using the brass and nylon brushes for cleaning .22 rifle/pistol barrels. A little tickle of the brass brush, a quirt of penetrating oil, a little tickle of the nylon and off to the ultrasonic tank.

Gun cleaning stuff can be used for all sorts of jobs

 

[Cato]

Gun cleaning stuff can be used for all sorts of jobs

View attachment 404650

I'd used them for various things, I'd just never thought to try them in a carb until I was scouting around for something to clean out the clag from the emulsion tube.

 

[addjunkie]

I'd used them for various things, I'd just never thought to try them in a carb until I was scouting around for something to clean out the clag from the emulsion tube.

Interdental brushes have their uses too!

 

[redlig]

Reminds me of:

MEN: When minding your wife’s handbag while she visits the toilets, you are STRICTLY FORBIDDEN from holding it as intended. You must bunch it in your fist, or jam it under your arm or between your legs.

This is to ensure no-one thinks it’s yours. Frequent, obvious glances towards the ladies’ toilet door will confirm this.

Be careful of overdoing the glances as some people may think you are Trans and are preparing to assert your rights.