i wouldnt advise selling due to the local system saying shes over the threshold and therefore has to pay for her extra care check your area if its the same thing up there in scotlandI have an elderly neighbour who I help out but she’s needing more help and am happy to do so but I’ve always stayed clear of any financial matters. I take stuff to the tip, clear out sheds, loft and that sort of thing but her house is now too big for her and she’s struggling with her bills. She’s also thinking of downsizing and possibly selling her house. She’s wanting some help with direct debits and this sort of thing. How would we go about making sure everything is done properly and above I’m as honest as they come and I don’t want any sort of financial control but I’d like to help her out where required and see if we can save her some money on her bills and things like that.
I don’t mind at all helping and I won’t overstep things. I think the son has some things he’s dealing with personally as well but he will need to help his mum with any financial things. But she’s been a great neighbour and her husband when he was alive was great as well. She’s just hurt her back again, she’s a trooper but that can get you down.Sorry, but the son needs to step up, as others have said. If the lady has told him 'Oh, the nice Mr Burdekin and his wife have sorted (whatever) out' he will sit back and let you do the lot! and treat you as a mug.
If she owns her home, and is the only resident, but goes into care that the council initially fund due to funds in the bank being less than £24000 (in England), then they will soon be looking to recover costs from the sale of the house - either from your own sale, or because they put a charge on it, charging you interest too. You get up to "12 weeks disconnect" where you don't have to pay.i wouldnt advise selling due to the local system saying shes over the threshold and therefore has to pay for her extra care check your area if its the same thing up there in scotland
Spoke to SWMBO about this earlier. How is this lady mentally ? Do you think she is losing it a bit and possibly vulnerable ?My wife and I are going over tomorrow night to see we can do.
I would avoid getting involved, frankly, it's admirable what you've done, and I'm not saying don't help her, but really as others have said it's her sons job.Spoke to SWMBO about this earlier. How is this lady mentally ? Do you think she is losing it a bit and possibly vulnerable ?
Really it ought to be the son who is stepping up and doing this, but if she is fully capable of making her own decisions, she could apply for you to have power of attorney IF you wanted to get that involved.
Alternatively, if she is losing her marbles, she could get a Guardianship Order via the Local Authority or County Council which would have a professional making the decisions and absolve you of any possible blame or accusations. Its somewhat impersonal though.
I don't know if the rules are different in Scotland though.
She’s still switched on and nobody’s fool. She’s a bit emotional, feeling overwhelmed and a bit stressed I would say. She’s had two knee replacements and she just hurt her back again which can be hard emotionally as well. She doesn’t need anyone being power of attorney at this stage I don’t think and that’s definitely something for the son or maybe some other relative. I’ll continue to help tidy stuff up around the house and if we can help reduce bills etc we’ll do that as well.Spoke to SWMBO about this earlier. How is this lady mentally ? Do you think she is losing it a bit and possibly vulnerable ?
Really it ought to be the son who is stepping up and doing this, but if she is fully capable of making her own decisions, she could apply for you to have power of attorney IF you wanted to get that involved.
Alternatively, if she is losing her marbles, she could get a Guardianship Order via the Local Authority or County Council which would have a professional making the decisions and absolve you of any possible blame or accusations. Its somewhat impersonal though.
I don't know if the rules are different in Scotland though.
That sounds wonderfully neighbourly - just be careful.She’s still switched on and nobody’s fool. She’s a bit emotional, feeling overwhelmed and a bit stressed I would say. She’s had two knee replacements and she just hurt her back again which can be hard emotionally as well. She doesn’t need anyone being power of attorney at this stage I don’t think and that’s definitely something for the son or maybe some other relative. I’ll continue to help tidy stuff up around the house and if we can help reduce bills etc we’ll do that as well.
Sounds like she's her deputy - everything recorded for the court of protection - could be called to a hearing to explain and prove anything they don't like from submitted accounts. Costs to set up and run. Done when the person is unable to sign themselve due to diminshed capacity - can take up to a year to get sorted at the moment.One of my sisters deals with all the finances and paperworks for our mother, who is in a home. And there is a lot of paperwork, accounting, quantifying every expense, income, outgoings ets. A detailed annual report is also required with all the above documented in it. There has to be receipts for every expense too.
Doing even a part of it for a neighbour, as a favour, would be a nightmare.
Same here - loads finally gone to charity, some to auction where it went as "box of . . ." some to tip.I was giving them away, everything, not buying them.![]()
I restored furniture before I stopped working, and you are right, can't give it away. Very sad really, being that even cheap furniture of that era is made of far better timber, and put together better that anything you can buy today. Tomorrows antiques are all going for firewood sadly.Same here - loads finally gone to charity, some to auction where it went as "box of . . ." some to tip.
As for 1930's dark wood dining room furniture - you really can't give it away - I'm about to break up my grannies for firewood - I remember it as a kid in the farm house in Buckland, Buckinghamshire, then in the smaller house they retired to in Aston Clinton, then in my mum's house in Yorkshire . . . its in amazingly good condition, just worn around the edges - top is pretty perfect.
My mum had a big display cabinet she bought for £700 3 decades ago, dark wood, glass frontage, very proud of it she was.Same here - loads finally gone to charity, some to auction where it went as "box of . . ." some to tip.
As for 1930's dark wood dining room furniture - you really can't give it away - I'm about to break up my grannies for firewood - I remember it as a kid in the farm house in Buckland, Buckinghamshire, then in the smaller house they retired to in Aston Clinton, then in my mum's house in Yorkshire . . . its in amazingly good condition, just worn around the edges - top is pretty perfect.
the table i have is older than i am my mum looked after it and ive looked after itSame here - loads finally gone to charity, some to auction where it went as "box of . . ." some to tip.
As for 1930's dark wood dining room furniture - you really can't give it away - I'm about to break up my grannies for firewood - I remember it as a kid in the farm house in Buckland, Buckinghamshire, then in the smaller house they retired to in Aston Clinton, then in my mum's house in Yorkshire . . . its in amazingly good condition, just worn around the edges - top is pretty perfect.
many a time its better than the new crap thats on offerLiving in an old house, now and again we like cheap old furniture…..suits the place
my mum was the opposite she lost the house due to greedy neighbours my grand dad knew better they stayed away until he passedI have heard of too many cases where situations like this have gone pear shaped, usually because of an avaricious relative popping up out of a hole in the ground. But on the plus side, Friends looked after an old lady not so far from here, One distant cousin in New Zealand but no other relatives. They did her gardening & shopping & helped her in her last years to go into a home just before she passed away. They did it because they were good people.
After she died they found she had left them the house & land 4 acres of it, the cousin got what was in the bank & was happy with that. They built a new bungalow & moved in. So being good to people can pay off.