Police in Staines are on the lookout for a man reported as staggering round the streets bumping into people and objects such as lamposts. He is thought not to be drunk but may be poor sighted or blind. Said his name was Wallace so thought to be trying to find his guide dog which may go by the name of Grommet? The man can be recognised by the bumps on his face and the oblong red mark across his face Officers say they don't think it's a birth/portwine mark as it is such a regular shape...
or should it be give me a clue 
Might be cheaper than drinking at £3.80 a pint!
